everkate

It has been forever. Everything has. You're asleep in the next room and the clock is the only sound. I wonder what I'm doing. I can't be sure. Not of who I am or where we're going. I don't know how to be grown up or how to be anything. I don't want to wake you up for work when I am not going. I don't want to have no heat and have to shut the water off. I think mostly though I don't want to be the reason I can't be the help I want to be. If I'm tired I can't tell anymore and I think about the stupidest things like wanting to look the part without feeling foolish. Why does that light turn on by itself? I keep feeling like I want to go home but

sometimes I think I see you in the street. I'll follow to get a better look and sometimes I even get the urge to run up and hug you tight, but it's not you of course. I wonder how many times I called you just to listen to your answering machine, I still call from time to time. your number belongs to some shop now, I think they tune pianos or it was something like that anyway. but I think the thing I wonder most often is which of the socks are yours. everytime I reach into that left hand drawer and find my hand filled with a pair of black tube socks I think thats when I miss you the most.

We were trying but we're trying no more. It's cold on the floor. This house has never been the same as before. It's never felt warm. There's something moving through the windows and walls. I've seen it before. You left me living with a lingering soul. How little you know. We were standing at the foot of a path. I had to go back. I chose to travel as a wondering cat. So much that I lack. I'm always wishing I was walking that road. It's something I hold. I take it with me all the places I go. How little you know. See where I am is where I'm wanting to be. I know what I need. And there are many different places to see. I know